No two marriages are the same, and only you can say what exactly happened in yours to make you want a divorce. On the other hand, perhaps you can’t quite put your finger on it except to say that time passed and you and your spouse drifted apart. If you talk to others who have ended their marriages, you might find that you share certain things in common.
It is always a good idea to talk to someone you trust to find out what he or she did to come to terms with divorcing from a significant other and successfully adapting to a new lifestyle. You can also ask about support systems and what types of resources were most helpful during this challenging time.
Issues that may apply to your situation
Whether your marriage lasted only a year or two or if you have been with your spouse for several decades, feeling like you are no longer in a committed can be emotionally upsetting. The following list includes reasons that spouses often cite when asked what caused their divorces:
- Irreparable damage from infidelity: While some spouses are able to recover from an extra marital affair, others say it is simply too difficult to try to move past the hurt. Both husbands and wives often cite this issue as a main cause of divorce.
- Constant fighting: Living day in and day out with someone who continually argues, snaps at you or speaks in a negative manner can wear on your nerves and cause you to feel unappreciated. This is a common factor in many divorces.
- Disagreements over finances: If you and your spouse can never see eye-to-eye concerning money matters, it can cause a serious breakdown in your relationship. Disputes over finances are a main issue for many divorcing couples.
- Co-parenting problems: Perhaps your relationship was great until you became parents, and while you both love your children, you just don’t agree about parenting. Co-parenting issues are also main causes for legal problems post-divorce.
You may have experienced one or all of these problem issues in your marriage. What’s most important now is protecting your children’s best interests and obtaining a fair and agreeable settlement so you can leave the past behind and move on to a successful future. Divorce may mean the end of your marriage but it can also mean the happy beginning of a new phase in life.